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What I Know Now

Angie : January 28, 2014 10:34 am : fear, parents, self awareness, Uncategorized

What I learned as a teen…

-Actions speak louder than words

 

What I learned as a young adult…

-Actions speak louder than words

-Trust your own instincts

 

What I learned as a parent of a teen…

-My actions speak louder than words and when I don’t follow my own instincts or trust myself, neither will my children, no matter what I say.

 

Parenting is a tricky balancing act… give them space to learn about themselves and make mistakes so they can grow and also keep them safe. What I learned most at the beginning of their quest to independence is, it didn’t matter how many times I told my daughter that her needs and desires mattered or how many times I told my son to follow his instincts because, they had already learned from my actions that I always put myself last and often ignored my own gut feelings. How I treated myself and felt about myself spoke louder than anything else said… oh crap…

 

What I know now…. Yes, actions speak louder than words and trust myself. Notice a theme here? Lol. I, however, also know that once I started modeling the behaviors I spoke so often about, my children followed suit. My actions gave them permission to give their needs a voice, to say no when they were faced with peer pressure, and to start trusting their own judgment! Is it smooth sailing from here? Absolutely not, they’re teenagers! Do they have a stronger base from which to build on? Absolutely! And for that, I’m extremely blessed!

 

What behaviors are you modeling that are not in line with your words?

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With love, light, and laughter,

Angie 🙂

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I’m Sorry….

Angie : January 24, 2014 2:31 pm : addiction, fear, parents, Uncategorized

To all the loved ones of addicts…. I’m sorry.  I’m sorry there are so many judgmental people in this world who say mean and hurtful things about your loved one. I’m sorry for all the addict celebrities plastered over the news to remind you that they could be your children and all the mean comments you have to endure. Loving an addict is not for the faint of heart, especially for the mothers who watched them go from being their wonderful,  smiling, free spirited child, to a lonely, broken, pain filled addict. The countless hours you spend praying they “hit their bottom”, hoping this time, this time will be the one that clicks, wondering where they are, hoping they are still breathing, thankful they’re in jail (cause at least they’re safe and presumably clean), or worse have lost them to their horrible pain. To all of you, I’m sorry. Which each callous, judgmental, and hateful word said, it opens those wounds all over again.

Today I hope you may find some peace in your heart knowing that there are people who truly care about you and your loved ones. There are others fighting right alongside you, educating and dispelling myths about what addiction truly is. Please know, we might not win every battle, but we will win this war. We just need to stay strong together and show the world what we’re fighting for. Hugs and love to everyone loving an addict.

With Love and Light,

Angie 🙂

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Fear is good! What? Yep!

Angie : January 22, 2014 1:59 pm : fear, self awareness, Uncategorized

How many times have you been told you need to let go of your fears? Or that fear is unhealthy and if it comes up just push it away and ignore it? I know for me that is quite often and I, as a coach, was stuck in that mindset for awhile too with my clients. I couldn’t figure out why those fears kept coming up over and over again, lesson after lesson. I was recognizing that yes it was a fear and yes it was unfounded and letting it go… WHY WASN’T IT GOING AWAY???? Then it clicked… cause FEAR is GOOD!! You read that right! It is good, it is healthy to have fear, and it serves a purpose!! Why would I be shunning something that actually served a purpose? Oh I know.. cause I was told it was bad…. Let’s get into what Fear is really about…

Fear has a purpose. It keeps us safe. Are some of our fears false? Abso-lutely!! Are some of them very real? ABSO-LUTELY! Is that ok? OF COURSE! It means you are human!

What good does fear do?

It helps us make better decisions by making us think of all possibilities. Have you ever watched a small child on a playground filled with larger kids? Most times those little ones are following along and doing everything the big kids do, with no fear, because they don’t know the outcomes! Not because they truly have no fear, but because they have no perception of what MIGHT happen! As adults however, we know a lot of the possibilities of outcomes. This is where a healthy dose of fear can turn ugly real quick and keep you from moving forward, however the premise of fear is actually good! It is there to keep us SAFE!

So what if you started looking at Fear as a warning sign and saying to it… What are you keeping me safe from?

How could your life change if you start embracing fear and realizing it is there for an actual purpose?

Do you think that by embracing it, you might actually find out it really isn’t that scary looking?

What do you think that would enable you to do?

I would love to have you share your thoughts below! When I stopped Fearing Fear, the world blossomed!

With love, light, and laughter,

Angie 🙂

 

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Why NOT?

Angie : January 21, 2014 10:40 am : fear, self awareness, Uncategorized

We’ve worked so hard to get away form the word “NOT” that we’ve lost the importance of why it’s part of our language. There is great power in using the word NOT. Let’s get real for a minute. There are things in life we are NOT good at and never will be because they do NOT interest us. That’s OK! We do NOT have to be good at everything and who would really want to be anyway. I know I certainly do NOT want to be. If I’m good at everything then I would “try” and do everything, much to the detriment of what’s best for me!

My favorite uses for NOT:

I will NOT:

I will NOT allow myself to be…

I will NOT lower my standards.

I will NOT be able to attend today because…

That will NOT work for me.

I am NOT:

I am NOT just a mother, wife, or daughter, I am…

I am NOT (insert whatever label I have given myself over the years)

 

It is just as important to know what we do NOT want as it is to know what we DO want. Do NOT be afraid to stand up and say…. NO this is NOT allowed or NO, I am NOT able to.

 

NOT only becomes a detriment to us when all we refer to is the NOTs and miss what we ARE good at and what we DO want. You know those people and you might have been one at one time also. The ones who always have something negative to say or continually tell you what they can’t do. That is NOT the power you are looking for, that is self depreciating.

 

Life is a polarity; we need both sides of the coin! Concentrating on one side more than the other throws us off balance. Find the power in both and you will see your world open up. Do NOT be afraid to voice it.

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What are your favorite NOT statements?

With love, light, and laughter,

Angie 🙂

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Embracing the Shadow

Angie : January 8, 2014 6:28 pm : Uncategorized

Water rushing over rock, over earth, cleansing, polishing

It does what it knows, no thinking, natural ebb and flow

Allow the water to rush over you, removing debris left behind

Leaving a smooth polished surface, so cool, so warm, so refreshing

Nectar of the gods, giver of life, sustain life,

Sustain flow, sustain, cleanse, heal, open, clear, effervescent,

Beautiful, mutable, powerful, serene, magical, brilliant

All of that resides in us.

We are water.

Murky, scary, deep, dangerous, life altering,dark

Ominous, deepest recesses of our worlds,

Where pain resides

Where it is trapped, longing to come out,

Longing to be brought to the surface

Longing to be released from the caves,

Release those emotions,

Those darkest feelings, the ones that weigh us down,

That are heavy

That sink, sink, sink.

Release them so they can float

Release them so they have the freedom to be

Allow them to gain their own personal power

Their full essence.

Let them see the light

So that light can be seen within

Feed them with light so they open

Allow them to blossom

Allow them to grow in love instead of sink in hate

If love is the light, What is the dark?

Is it where we long for the light or is it the opportunity to feel and experience life in order to move freely into the light?

Is it an opportunity every day to assess where our dark spots are and give them light?

What is love? Why do we not love ourselves? How do we love ourselves?

Light.

We allow the light in.

What is light?

That feeling of genuine love, of genuine happiness, that spark.

Visualize a spark, see it grow

Let it fill your entire body.

Feel the heat, the warmth, the glow inside that is YOU and YOUR power!

 

With love, light, and laughter,

Angie 🙂

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